6 ways to reconnect with your partner after having a baby
We know how life altering it is to bring a new baby home. Suddenly 100% of your attention is on this tiny, demanding human that has joined your family. Immediately upon welcoming a new baby, parents typically do feel pretty connected as they bask in the new little life that they created together, but as the weeks go by it is really common to experience a disconnect in your own relationship.
Here are 6 ways to focus on your relationship with your partner to reinforce or bring back some of that spark!
1. When possible, care for baby together.
Remember in the first few days of Baby's life when you both woke up in the middle of the night to make sure she was latching properly? When a diaper change required both sets of hands? When you gave Baby her first bath together? While you are both old pros now and don't require two parents for these daily events, it is a simple way of joining forces and being TOGETHER in your parenting.
2. Think of them.
Doesn't it feel so nice when your partner brings you flowers for no reason? Or knew you were up with the baby a lot in the night and thought to make your morning coffee? This is such an easy little way to show your partner that you were thinking of them during the day while you were apart. When you're at the store getting stuff for dinner, why not grab their favorite treat, too! We're willing to bet that this little act of thoughtfulness will go a long way toward making your partner feel loved and cared for.
3. Spend some quality time together.
Maybe your days are filled with peanut butter sandwiches, laundry, endless feeding sessions, and waiting for your partner to get home from work. Or maybe you spend your day at the office counting down the hours until you get to go home to see your little ones. Regardless, the evening is commonly a busy and stressful time, trying to get dinner finished, dishes done, and the kids to bed. Once you survive these witching hours and the kids are asleep, carve out some quality time with your partner! Instead of retreating to your separate devices (gaming, netflix, laptops, etc), curl up on the couch together with a cup of tea and spend some time being together. You don't even have to talk the whole time -you can just choose a new show to watch together. A snuggle can really help you feel more connected to each other!
4. Talk/listen for 5 minutes.
Allow your partner the time and space to talk for 5 minutes about what they are experiencing and how they are feeling. Your job during this time is to simply listen and reserve judgement. Then switch roles! You both are feeling a lot of different emotions and they are changing frequently. You want to be each other's safe space to share. Having the space to talk and feel heard is so beneficial.
5. Shower together.
Showering together is a great way to take a daily "chore" that has to be done anyway and use it as an chance to reconnect. While it has the opportunity for more, it doesn't have to be sexual! Showering together really fosters intimacy with your partner - and maybe some fun and laughter, too! :)
6. Walk around the block.
This is great because you can bring your baby, too! It is so nice to get outside, get moving, and get some fresh air, while allowing a bit of time for you and your partner to catch up. Talk to Kersti to learn more about ways to babywear safely while you walk.
There are a lot of demands on you both after having a baby and it's so easy to let your relationship slip to the back burner. You were a couple before you were parents, so prioritize some time for your relationship in this new season of parenthood and enjoy that new little human! :)